Thursday August 22, 2002:
You know that expression ‘opportunity knocks?’ Today, it literally did.
I was writing my resumé when someone banged on my door. I was in my vest and shorts at the time, so I had to go get dressed before I could answer. When I opened the door there was nobody there, and pamphlet lying on my front porch. Weird, right?
I took it indoors and read it. The cover had an abstract logo on it – a slanted shape inside a circle – and a picture of a smiling man and woman holding a cartoon atom, with the words: “B.M.R.F. – Working to make a better tomorrow for all mankind” underneath them. I opened it up and read:
“Looking for a new job? Then the look is over! The Black Mesa Research Facility is looking for people just like you. If you enjoy a challenge and enjoy working with fun people, then Black Mesa is just the place for you.”
I leafed through it. Seems this Black Mesa place is some kinda government laboratory. I’m no nerd; I don’t know my neutrons from my neurons. But I spotted something: “Immediate openings are available in the areas of Materials Handling and Low-Clearance Security. Please contact Black Mesa Personnel for further information. ”
Security. Yeah! Babysitting a bunch of boffins? No sweat. Okay, so the pay’s not amazing, but there’s plenty of freebies: corporate trips abroad, paid vacation, 20 percent off video rentals. You even get your own dorm, rent-free.
“The job of your dreams is now available, so hurry and call 555-MESA before this opportunity is gone…”
I dialled the number and a woman answered after one ring. I stammered something about being interested in the opportunity, gave some credentials, and she booked me in for an interview: 11am next Friday. Hot damn!
I’ve got a good feeling about this. ‘Barney Calhoun: Security Guard.’ Someone out there likes me.